Self-regulation in the early childhood years; a short guide
Self-regulation is the ability to manage and regulate your emotions and behaviour, including managing stress, controlling impulses and keeping yourself motivated. The main skills include:
- impulse control
- stress management
- self-discipline
- self-motivation
- goal-setting
- organisational skills.
In their early years, children are just beginning to learn about emotions and feelings, and how to manage them. From time to time, most young children display behaviours such as aggression, emotional outbursts and inattention. Gradually, children learn what situations are likely to upset them and how they can handle emotions better when these situations arise.
Children vary in the way they perceive, respond and interact with the world around them.
Some take longer and need more help than others to recover from being upset. They can differ in how they respond to new situations, where some dive straight in while others tend to withdraw and observe from a distance. They can also differ in how long they can concentrate for.
Hormones also play a part in the way children self-regulate. Children’s ‘feel good’ hormones (serotonin) are higher when they experience life in their own way and in their own time. High levels of stress hormones (cortisol) lessen the child’s ability to concentrate, manage conflict, problem-solve and try new things. Children who’ve experienced higher levels of stress in their preschool and primary years show more aggression and anxiety and aren’t as socially competent as those who’ve experienced less stress.
The Wishing Well foundation
The Wishing Well was established in 2010 to offer children in out-of-home care, such as foster care and residential care, a range of healing and treatment options usually not accessible as a free therapy in mainstream health.
The Wishing Well raises funds to enable children and young people to access developmentally-appropriate and trauma-informed treatments shown to be highly effective in dealing with severe trauma and neglect. These therapies respond to the unique needs of each child and young person.
The Wishing Well is a not-for-profit incorporated charity organisation, established and managed by people seeking to improve outcomes for children and young people in out-of-home care and their families. The Wishing Well recognises the importance of the act of giving. We recognise the significance of the participation of community members and all donations are most appreciated.
The Wishing Well operates ethically, effectively and empathically with a view to achieving quality outcomes and a satisfying working environment.
Support the Wishing Well
The Wishing Well uses its funds to help children in need access all manners of developmentally-appropriate and trauma-informed treatments. The Wishing Well takes referrals for any child/young person in out-of-home care in NSW. Applications are assessed by qualified personnel and on a case-by-case basis. The decision to fund an application is affected by the following:
- Funding availability
- The support the child/young person has to access the proposed therapies
- The capacity and willingness of the Carer Household to support the child/young person
- Assessment, which recommends and supports the proposed therapy as relevant to meeting the particular needs of the child/young person
The Wishing Well gratefully receives donations, funding and resources through bequests, corporate partnerships, fundraising events, grants, online donations and other fund raising activities. Money donated to The Wishing Well enables traumatised children access to healing therapies. Please see our website for more information:
Self-regulation in children and young people – what is it?
Self-regulation is learning about your own feelings and emotions, understanding how and why they happen, recognising them (and those of others), and developing effective ways of managing them. Self-regulation is important for the healthy development of children and young people. For example, it helps children with learning and social skills. Self-regulation develops most in the toddler and preschooler years. It continues to develop into adulthood. You can help your child develop self-regulation through talking about feelings and role-modelling.
Self-regulation includes being able to:
- regulate reactions to emotions like frustration or excitement
- calm down after something exciting or upsetting
- focus on a task
- refocus attention on a new task
- control impulses
- learn behaviour that helps you get along with other people.
Helping children and young people manage their emotions is important for fostering positive mental health and wellbeing. When children and young people learn to self-manage their emotions, they feel more confident, capable and in control. They have stronger relationships, are more able to pay attention, learn new things and can cope better with the normal stresses and disappointments of daily life.
The Wishing Well foundation
The Wishing Well was established in 2010 to offer children in out-of-home care, such as foster care and residential care, a range of healing and treatment options usually not accessible as a free therapy in mainstream health.
The Wishing Well raises funds to enable children and young people to access developmentally-appropriate and trauma-informed treatments shown to be highly effective in dealing with severe trauma and neglect. These therapies respond to the unique needs of each child and young person.
The Wishing Well is a not-for-profit incorporated charity organisation, established and managed by people seeking to improve outcomes for children and young people in out-of-home care and their families. The Wishing Well recognises the importance of the act of giving. We recognise the significance of the participation of community members and all donations are most appreciated.
The Wishing Well operates ethically, effectively and empathically with a view to achieving quality outcomes and a satisfying working environment.
Support the Wishing Well
The Wishing Well uses its funds to help children in need access all manners of developmentally-appropriate and trauma-informed treatments. The Wishing Well takes referrals for any child/young person in out-of-home care in NSW. Applications are assessed by qualified personnel and on a case-by-case basis. The decision to fund an application is affected by the following:
- Funding availability
- The support the child/young person has to access the proposed therapies
- The capacity and willingness of the Carer Household to support the child/young person
- Assessment, which recommends and supports the proposed therapy as relevant to meeting the particular needs of the child/young person
The Wishing Well gratefully receives donations, funding and resources through bequests, corporate partnerships, fundraising events, grants, online donations and other fund raising activities. Money donated to The Wishing Well enables traumatised children access to healing therapies. Please see our website for more information:
Children and mental health; using the BETLS observation tool to gather and document information and observations about a child or young person
When thinking about where a child or young person is on the mental health continuum, it’s important to consider their age as a very wide range of emotions and behaviours are expected at different stages of development. Remember, though, it’s not your role to diagnose or make conclusions about a child or young person’s state of mental health. However, you can use the BELTS observation tool as a template for gathering and documenting information and observations about a child or young person.
BETLS is an acronym for behaviour, emotions, thoughts, learning and social relationships. Observations should:
- focus only on what you actually see and hear, rather than what you think about a child or young person’s behaviours, emotions and thoughts
- take note of when, where and how often a child or young person is showing a particular behaviour or emotion
- notice what makes the child or young person’s experience worse and what makes it better
- record how long the behaviour or emotion occurs (for example, if you’re concerned about a child or young person’s outbursts, take note of how long they last)
- notice what happens before and after the behaviour that is a concern
- be recorded by different people and in different situations during the day.
The Wishing Well foundation
The Wishing Well was established in 2010 to offer children in out-of-home care, such as foster care and residential care, a range of healing and treatment options usually not accessible as a free therapy in mainstream health.
The Wishing Well raises funds to enable children and young people to access developmentally-appropriate and trauma-informed treatments shown to be highly effective in dealing with severe trauma and neglect. These therapies respond to the unique needs of each child and young person.
The Wishing Well is a not-for-profit incorporated charity organisation, established and managed by people seeking to improve outcomes for children and young people in out-of-home care and their families. The Wishing Well recognises the importance of the act of giving. We recognise the significance of the participation of community members and all donations are most appreciated.
The Wishing Well operates ethically, effectively and empathically with a view to achieving quality outcomes and a satisfying working environment.
Support the Wishing Well
The Wishing Well uses its funds to help children in need access all manners of developmentally-appropriate and trauma-informed treatments. The Wishing Well takes referrals for any child/young person in out-of-home care in NSW. Applications are assessed by qualified personnel and on a case-by-case basis. The decision to fund an application is affected by the following:
- Funding availability
- The support the child/young person has to access the proposed therapies
- The capacity and willingness of the Carer Household to support the child/young person
- Assessment, which recommends and supports the proposed therapy as relevant to meeting the particular needs of the child/young person
The Wishing Well gratefully receives donations, funding and resources through bequests, corporate partnerships, fundraising events, grants, online donations and other fund raising activities. Money donated to The Wishing Well enables traumatised children access to healing therapies. Please see our website for more information:
Children and mental health; how you can promote positive mental health
Mental health changes over time in response to different stresses and experiences. Mental health and mental health conditions are different and exist on a continuum, from Flourishing, Going OK, Unsettled to having a mental health condition. Most children and young people sit at the positive mental health end of the continuum, most of the time. You help nudge them towards Flourishing and reaching their full potential in the way you promote their social, emotional and academic development. Children and young people might demonstrate changes in their relationships, behaviour and learning that suggest they may be in, or are moving towards, the mental health condition end of the continuum. You can notice these changes and act to get things back on track, which can make an enormous difference to their mental health and improve their educational outcomes.
Strong emotional and behavioural reactions are understandable and expected when someone is faced with difficult circumstances and should not necessarily be considered signs of a mental health condition. Thoughts, emotions and behaviours are also influenced by many other factors that need to be considered, such as temperament, cultural background, and the presence of learning and developmental disabilities. Determining whether a change in a child or young person can be explained by age and context or whether it’s the early signs that a mental health condition is developing, can be hard and may only become clear over time.
The Wishing Well foundation
The Wishing Well was established in 2010 to offer children in out-of-home care, such as foster care and residential care, a range of healing and treatment options usually not accessible as a free therapy in mainstream health.
The Wishing Well raises funds to enable children and young people to access developmentally-appropriate and trauma-informed treatments shown to be highly effective in dealing with severe trauma and neglect. These therapies respond to the unique needs of each child and young person.
The Wishing Well is a not-for-profit incorporated charity organisation, established and managed by people seeking to improve outcomes for children and young people in out-of-home care and their families. The Wishing Well recognises the importance of the act of giving. We recognise the significance of the participation of community members and all donations are most appreciated.
The Wishing Well operates ethically, effectively and empathically with a view to achieving quality outcomes and a satisfying working environment.
Support the Wishing Well
The Wishing Well uses its funds to help children in need access all manners of developmentally-appropriate and trauma-informed treatments. The Wishing Well takes referrals for any child/young person in out-of-home care in NSW. Applications are assessed by qualified personnel and on a case-by-case basis. The decision to fund an application is affected by the following:
- Funding availability
- The support the child/young person has to access the proposed therapies
- The capacity and willingness of the Carer Household to support the child/young person
- Assessment, which recommends and supports the proposed therapy as relevant to meeting the particular needs of the child/young person
The Wishing Well gratefully receives donations, funding and resources through bequests, corporate partnerships, fundraising events, grants, online donations and other fund raising activities. Money donated to The Wishing Well enables traumatised children access to healing therapies. Please see our website for more information:
Children and mental health; how does the mental health continuum work?
There is a subtle yet important difference between mental health and mental health conditions. Mental health and mental health conditions are different and exist on a continuum, from Flourishing, Going OK, Unsettled to having a mental health condition.
Children and young people shift back and forth along the continuum, and most children and young people sit at the positive mental health end of the continuum, most of the time. Mental health changes over time in response to different stresses and experiences. There are many factors, both internal and external, that affect where someone generally sits on the continuum, and also where they sit at any given point in time.
Many children and young people will demonstrate changes in their relationships, behaviour and learning that suggest they may be in, or are moving towards, the mental health condition end of the continuum. Strong emotional and behavioural reactions are understandable and expected when someone is faced with difficult circumstances and should not necessarily be considered signs of a mental health condition. Thoughts, emotions and behaviours are also influenced by many other factors that need to be considered, such as temperament, cultural background, and the presence of learning and developmental disabilities.
The Wishing Well foundation
The Wishing Well was established in 2010 to offer children in out-of-home care, such as foster care and residential care, a range of healing and treatment options usually not accessible as a free therapy in mainstream health.
The Wishing Well raises funds to enable children and young people to access developmentally-appropriate and trauma-informed treatments shown to be highly effective in dealing with severe trauma and neglect. These therapies respond to the unique needs of each child and young person.
The Wishing Well is a not-for-profit incorporated charity organisation, established and managed by people seeking to improve outcomes for children and young people in out-of-home care and their families. The Wishing Well recognises the importance of the act of giving. We recognise the significance of the participation of community members and all donations are most appreciated.
The Wishing Well operates ethically, effectively and empathically with a view to achieving quality outcomes and a satisfying working environment.
Support the Wishing Well
The Wishing Well uses its funds to help children in need access all manners of developmentally-appropriate and trauma-informed treatments. The Wishing Well takes referrals for any child/young person in out-of-home care in NSW. Applications are assessed by qualified personnel and on a case-by-case basis. The decision to fund an application is affected by the following:
- Funding availability
- The support the child/young person has to access the proposed therapies
- The capacity and willingness of the Carer Household to support the child/young person
- Assessment, which recommends and supports the proposed therapy as relevant to meeting the particular needs of the child/young person
The Wishing Well gratefully receives donations, funding and resources through bequests, corporate partnerships, fundraising events, grants, online donations and other fund raising activities. Money donated to The Wishing Well enables traumatised children access to healing therapies. Please see our website for more information:
Children and mental health; understanding the difference between mental health and mental health conditions
There is a subtle yet important difference between mental health and mental health conditions. Mental health and mental health conditions are different and exist on a continuum, from Flourishing, Going OK, Unsettled to having a mental health condition.
- Flourishing: represents optimal functioning in which a child or young person feels good, functions well, relates well with others, and approaches their learning with purpose, curiosity and optimism.
- Going OK: this represents children and young people who experience good mental health and an absence of frequent or significant feelings of distress.
- Unsettled: in this range are children and young people who may come to the attention of educators due to more noticeable but generally time-limited periods of distress which have a mild impact on their behaviour, learning and relationships. These experiences may either be a) an expected part of development and growing up, b) an expected emotional reaction to challenging life circumstances, or c) the early signs of an emerging mental health condition.
- Having Mental Health Conditions: this represents children and young people experiencing Mental Health Conditions. They have thoughts, feelings and behaviours that are distressing and have a significant impact on their daily life.
The Wishing Well foundation
The Wishing Well was established in 2010 to offer children in out-of-home care, such as foster care and residential care, a range of healing and treatment options usually not accessible as a free therapy in mainstream health.
The Wishing Well raises funds to enable children and young people to access developmentally-appropriate and trauma-informed treatments shown to be highly effective in dealing with severe trauma and neglect. These therapies respond to the unique needs of each child and young person.
The Wishing Well is a not-for-profit incorporated charity organisation, established and managed by people seeking to improve outcomes for children and young people in out-of-home care and their families. The Wishing Well recognises the importance of the act of giving. We recognise the significance of the participation of community members and all donations are most appreciated.
The Wishing Well operates ethically, effectively and empathically with a view to achieving quality outcomes and a satisfying working environment.
Support the Wishing Well
The Wishing Well uses its funds to help children in need access all manners of developmentally-appropriate and trauma-informed treatments. The Wishing Well takes referrals for any child/young person in out-of-home care in NSW. Applications are assessed by qualified personnel and on a case-by-case basis. The decision to fund an application is affected by the following:
- Funding availability
- The support the child/young person has to access the proposed therapies
- The capacity and willingness of the Carer Household to support the child/young person
- Assessment, which recommends and supports the proposed therapy as relevant to meeting the particular needs of the child/young person
The Wishing Well gratefully receives donations, funding and resources through bequests, corporate partnerships, fundraising events, grants, online donations and other fund raising activities. Money donated to The Wishing Well enables traumatised children access to healing therapies. Please see our website for more information:
Resilience in children and young people; what can resilience do for mental health?
Resilience is so important for children and young people. Resilient children are able to adapt and bounce back when things don’t go as planned. It’s widely accepted developing social and emotional skills benefits all aspects of children and young people’s learning, development, mental health and wellbeing. Resilience is a key social and emotional skill that’s a protective factor for children and young people’s mental health and wellbeing.
Feeling optimistic and hopeful are key to mental health and wellbeing. Children and young people’s resilience is enhanced when they:
- are loved by someone unconditionally
- have an older person outside the home they can talk to about problems and feelings
- are praised for doing things on their own and striving to achieve
- can count on their family being there when needed
- know someone they want to be like
- believe things will turn out all right
- have a sense of a power greater than themselves
- are willing to try new things
- feel that what they do makes a difference in how things turn out
- like themselves
- can focus on a task and stay with it
- have a sense of humour
- make goals and plans, both short and longer-term.
The Wishing Well foundation
The Wishing Well was established in 2010 to offer children in out-of-home care, such as foster care and residential care, a range of healing and treatment options usually not accessible as a free therapy in mainstream health.
The Wishing Well raises funds to enable children and young people to access developmentally-appropriate and trauma-informed treatments shown to be highly effective in dealing with severe trauma and neglect. These therapies respond to the unique needs of each child and young person.
The Wishing Well is a not-for-profit incorporated charity organisation, established and managed by people seeking to improve outcomes for children and young people in out-of-home care and their families. The Wishing Well recognises the importance of the act of giving. We recognise the significance of the participation of community members and all donations are most appreciated.
The Wishing Well operates ethically, effectively and empathically with a view to achieving quality outcomes and a satisfying working environment.
Support the Wishing Well
The Wishing Well uses its funds to help children in need access all manners of developmentally-appropriate and trauma-informed treatments. The Wishing Well takes referrals for any child/young person in out-of-home care in NSW. Applications are assessed by qualified personnel and on a case-by-case basis. The decision to fund an application is affected by the following:
- Funding availability
- The support the child/young person has to access the proposed therapies
- The capacity and willingness of the Carer Household to support the child/young person
- Assessment, which recommends and supports the proposed therapy as relevant to meeting the particular needs of the child/young person
The Wishing Well gratefully receives donations, funding and resources through bequests, corporate partnerships, fundraising events, grants, online donations and other fund raising activities. Money donated to The Wishing Well enables traumatised children access to healing therapies. Please see our website for more information:
How do children develop resilience? A short guide
Resilience develops and changes over time as children and young people grow and progress through developmental stages. People may have more, or less, resilience to draw on at any given time depending on their circumstances. Children can develop resilience due to biological influences, exposure to manageable stress, positive connections and relationships and through their relationship with significant adults.
Biological influences; To some extent, resilience has a genetic component (that is, it lies within a person’s individual make-up and personal strengths). However, it’s not simply an individual characteristic nor is it a fixed character trait.
Exposure to manageable stress; Children and young people develop coping skills through exposure to manageable stress in their day-to-day lives (for example, the everyday stress of getting ready for their early learning service or school). When educators respond in a warm and sensitive manner, children and young people learn they are safe, that their needs will be taken care of and they’ll be supported with their coping skills.
Positive connections and relationships; Strong relationships within immediate and extended family help at times of stress or adversity. This support and security is a critical buffer against life’s ups and downs – it’s often called a protective factor for mental health. Even very young children develop a sense of self and self-confidence through their peer relationships and attribute meaning and value to them. Relationships outside of the family mean children and young people have someone else to support them when times get tough.
Significant adults; Research indicates a positive relationship with at least one caring, competent adult outside of the child or young person’s immediate family is related to greater mental health and resilience. Positive relationships are particularly important for individuals who’ve not experienced close relationships with their family and can improve developmental outcomes.
The Wishing Well foundation
The Wishing Well was established in 2010 to offer children in out-of-home care, such as foster care and residential care, a range of healing and treatment options usually not accessible as a free therapy in mainstream health.
The Wishing Well raises funds to enable children and young people to access developmentally-appropriate and trauma-informed treatments shown to be highly effective in dealing with severe trauma and neglect. These therapies respond to the unique needs of each child and young person.
The Wishing Well is a not-for-profit incorporated charity organisation, established and managed by people seeking to improve outcomes for children and young people in out-of-home care and their families. The Wishing Well recognises the importance of the act of giving. We recognise the significance of the participation of community members and all donations are most appreciated.
The Wishing Well operates ethically, effectively and empathically with a view to achieving quality outcomes and a satisfying working environment.
Support the Wishing Well
The Wishing Well uses its funds to help children in need access all manners of developmentally-appropriate and trauma-informed treatments. The Wishing Well takes referrals for any child/young person in out-of-home care in NSW. Applications are assessed by qualified personnel and on a case-by-case basis. The decision to fund an application is affected by the following:
- Funding availability
- The support the child/young person has to access the proposed therapies
- The capacity and willingness of the Carer Household to support the child/young person
- Assessment, which recommends and supports the proposed therapy as relevant to meeting the particular needs of the child/young person
The Wishing Well gratefully receives donations, funding and resources through bequests, corporate partnerships, fundraising events, grants, online donations and other fund raising activities. Money donated to The Wishing Well enables traumatised children access to healing therapies. Please see our website for more information:
Resilience in children and young people; why is it important?
Resilience is so important for children and young people. Resilient people are better able to handle adversity and rebuild their lives after a catastrophe. Resilient children are able to adapt and bounce back when things don’t go as planned. They don’t wallow or dwell on failures; they acknowledge the situation, learn from their mistakes, and then move forward.
Children and young people need resilience to manage ups and downs, both during and after difficult or challenging situations. Ups and downs can range from; everyday challenges like conflict with friends, falling off a bike, emotional experiences such as loss, rejection, disappointment or humiliation, or serious challenges like disability, learning difficulties, family separation, family illness or death, or bullying.
Resilient people develop great, positive attributes, including; maintain a positive image of the future and having solid goals and a desire to achieve those goals. Resilient people are empathetic and compassionate, however, they don’t waste time worrying what others think of them. They maintain healthy relationships, but don’t bow to peer pressure. Resilient people never think of themselves as victims – they focus their time and energy on changing the things that they have control over.
When children and young people develop resilience, over the longer term, they will have fewer mental health issues and greater life opportunities (including employment and relationships), and it is also associated with better academic performance and school behaviour.
The Wishing Well foundation
The Wishing Well was established in 2010 to offer children in out-of-home care, such as foster care and residential care, a range of healing and treatment options usually not accessible as a free therapy in mainstream health.
The Wishing Well raises funds to enable children and young people to access developmentally-appropriate and trauma-informed treatments shown to be highly effective in dealing with severe trauma and neglect. These therapies respond to the unique needs of each child and young person.
The Wishing Well is a not-for-profit incorporated charity organisation, established and managed by people seeking to improve outcomes for children and young people in out-of-home care and their families. The Wishing Well recognises the importance of the act of giving. We recognise the significance of the participation of community members and all donations are most appreciated.
The Wishing Well operates ethically, effectively and empathically with a view to achieving quality outcomes and a satisfying working environment.
Support the Wishing Well
The Wishing Well uses its funds to help children in need access all manners of developmentally-appropriate and trauma-informed treatments. The Wishing Well takes referrals for any child/young person in out-of-home care in NSW. Applications are assessed by qualified personnel and on a case-by-case basis. The decision to fund an application is affected by the following:
- Funding availability
- The support the child/young person has to access the proposed therapies
- The capacity and willingness of the Carer Household to support the child/young person
- Assessment, which recommends and supports the proposed therapy as relevant to meeting the particular needs of the child/young person
The Wishing Well gratefully receives donations, funding and resources through bequests, corporate partnerships, fundraising events, grants, online donations and other fund raising activities. Money donated to The Wishing Well enables traumatised children access to healing therapies. Please see our website for more information:
Resilience in children and young people; what are the characteristics?
Resilience enables people to shift back along the mental health continuum towards good mental health. It’s not static but is something that can change over time due to experiences and circumstance. Resilience refers to the ability to manage change to maintain and restore mental health and wellbeing, particularly after an adverse event. Children and young people need resilience to manage ups and downs, both during and after difficult or challenging situations.
A child or young person who is resilient might:
- be optimistic
- use positive self-talk for encouragement
- have a positive sense of self
- identify and express their feelings and thoughts
- not hide away from strong feelings
- have helpful, age-appropriate strategies to manage their emotions when upset
- rearrange their plans to work around an unexpected situation
- have a sense of agency or responsibility
- keep on trying if something doesn’t work out and use their judgment about when to stop
- hold a sense of purpose or hope for the future
- actively ask for help if they need it
- feel a sense of attachment to family, their learning community and to learning.
The Wishing Well foundation
The Wishing Well was established in 2010 to offer children in out-of-home care, such as foster care and residential care, a range of healing and treatment options usually not accessible as a free therapy in mainstream health.
The Wishing Well raises funds to enable children and young people to access developmentally-appropriate and trauma-informed treatments shown to be highly effective in dealing with severe trauma and neglect. These therapies respond to the unique needs of each child and young person.
The Wishing Well is a not-for-profit incorporated charity organisation, established and managed by people seeking to improve outcomes for children and young people in out-of-home care and their families. The Wishing Well recognises the importance of the act of giving. We recognise the significance of the participation of community members and all donations are most appreciated.
The Wishing Well operates ethically, effectively and empathically with a view to achieving quality outcomes and a satisfying working environment.
Support the Wishing Well
The Wishing Well uses its funds to help children in need access all manners of developmentally-appropriate and trauma-informed treatments. The Wishing Well takes referrals for any child/young person in out-of-home care in NSW. Applications are assessed by qualified personnel and on a case-by-case basis. The decision to fund an application is affected by the following:
- Funding availability
- The support the child/young person has to access the proposed therapies
- The capacity and willingness of the Carer Household to support the child/young person
- Assessment, which recommends and supports the proposed therapy as relevant to meeting the particular needs of the child/young person
The Wishing Well gratefully receives donations, funding and resources through bequests, corporate partnerships, fundraising events, grants, online donations and other fund raising activities. Money donated to The Wishing Well enables traumatised children access to healing therapies. Please see our website for more information:
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