Strategies for strengthening positive behaviours by decreasing undesired behaviours
We’ve talked about some strategies for increasing desired behaviours, but there are also some tactics that we can employ with children to decrease undesired behaviours. Children might behave in undesired ways because they haven’t learnt the appropriate behaviour, or maybe they haven’t learnt how to control negative feelings, or maybe they feel insecure in their environment. By giving them attention when they display negative behaviours, we unintentionally contribute to the likelihood that they will repeat these behaviours. Instead, we can decrease these behaviours by teaching them the appropriate behaviours and rewarding them with praise and attention when they display positive behaviours.
You can use ‘quiet time’ as a way to help a child calm down after an undesired behaviour is displayed or repeated. Let children sit quietly, without distractions, for a short time, in a designated ‘quiet time’ space. Be clear about the undesired behaviour and the consequence of sitting in quiet time, but also let the child know that they can come back from quiet time after a period of time – one or two minutes for young children, five minutes for older children. When they return to their activity, it is best to follow up with praise for some appropriate behaviour as soon as possible, so children learn that positive behaviours receive praise and attention.
The Wishing Well foundation
The Wishing Well was established in 2010 to offer children in out-of-home care, such as foster care and residential care, a range of healing and treatment options usually not accessible as a free therapy in mainstream health.
The Wishing Well raises funds to enable children and young people to access developmentally-appropriate and trauma-informed treatments shown to be highly effective in dealing with severe trauma and neglect. These therapies respond to the unique needs of each child and young person.
The Wishing Well is a not-for-profit incorporated charity organisation, established and managed by people seeking to improve outcomes for children and young people in out-of-home care and their families. The Wishing Well recognises the importance of the act of giving. We recognise the significance of the participation of community members and all donations are most appreciated.
The Wishing Well operates ethically, effectively and empathically with a view to achieving quality outcomes and a satisfying working environment.
Support the Wishing Well
The Wishing Well uses its funds to help children in need access all manners of developmentally-appropriate and trauma-informed treatments. The Wishing Well takes referrals for any child/young person in out-of-home care in NSW. Applications are assessed by qualified personnel and on a case-by-case basis. The decision to fund an application is affected by the following:
- Funding availability
- The support the child/young person has to access the proposed therapies
- The capacity and willingness of the Carer Household to support the child/young person
- Assessment, which recommends and supports the proposed therapy as relevant to meeting the particular needs of the child/young person
The Wishing Well gratefully receives donations, funding and resources through bequests, corporate partnerships, fundraising events, grants, online donations and other fund raising activities. Money donated to The Wishing Well enables traumatised children access to healing therapies. Please see our website for more information:
Promoting positive behaviour through enabling choice – more strategies for building skills and strengthening positive behaviours
When we allow children to make decisions and give them a chance to own their choices, we are helping them learn the skills they’ll need as they grow up. Giving children choices helps them feel like they have some power and control over what they do. Making good choices is a skill that children will use as they grow older and supports the development of positive social values. We can help them along the way by enabling some choices for them when they are young.
These choices do need to be age-appropriate and at the child’s ability level. Some examples could be offering a child a choice between two different household chores, or two different types of sandwiches for lunch. You can also use choice to reinforce rules that are already in place. For example, if one rule is that children must finish homework before play, you can give a child the choice of completing homework now so that they can go out and play, or doing the homework later but not going out to play as a result.
The Wishing Well foundation
The Wishing Well was established in 2010 to offer children in out-of-home care, such as foster care and residential care, a range of healing and treatment options usually not accessible as a free therapy in mainstream health.
The Wishing Well raises funds to enable children and young people to access developmentally-appropriate and trauma-informed treatments shown to be highly effective in dealing with severe trauma and neglect. These therapies respond to the unique needs of each child and young person.
The Wishing Well is a not-for-profit incorporated charity organisation, established and managed by people seeking to improve outcomes for children and young people in out-of-home care and their families. The Wishing Well recognises the importance of the act of giving. We recognise the significance of the participation of community members and all donations are most appreciated.
The Wishing Well operates ethically, effectively and empathically with a view to achieving quality outcomes and a satisfying working environment.
Support the Wishing Well
The Wishing Well uses its funds to help children in need access all manners of developmentally-appropriate and trauma-informed treatments. The Wishing Well takes referrals for any child/young person in out-of-home care in NSW. Applications are assessed by qualified personnel and on a case-by-case basis. The decision to fund an application is affected by the following:
- Funding availability
- The support the child/young person has to access the proposed therapies
- The capacity and willingness of the Carer Household to support the child/young person
- Assessment, which recommends and supports the proposed therapy as relevant to meeting the particular needs of the child/young person
The Wishing Well gratefully receives donations, funding and resources through bequests, corporate partnerships, fundraising events, grants, online donations and other fund raising activities. Money donated to The Wishing Well enables traumatised children access to healing therapies. Please see our website for more information:
Promoting positive behaviour through setting expectations and limits – more strategies for building skills and strengthening positive behaviours
It’s easy to work on building positive behaviours in young children when we have the knowledge available to us to put into use. Here, we discuss another way of promoting positive behaviour in children – through setting expectations and limits.
This involves a similar sense of boundaries that we know children need. In setting limits for children, we communicate our expectations to them in a clear way and we follow through with what we say. It’s important to be clear when setting limits, establishing routines, or asking children to complete something, so that children are aware of what is required of them and understand the request. Ensure that whatever it is you request of children, it is at their level of ability, and that the directions are not too overwhelming.
Following through is also important here – be consistent to show that you mean what you say, and in this way children will know that you can be counted on. If expectations seem inconsistent, children may be more likely to test their limits and boundaries, or even to ignore your expectations.
The Wishing Well foundation
The Wishing Well was established in 2010 to offer children in out-of-home care, such as foster care and residential care, a range of healing and treatment options usually not accessible as a free therapy in mainstream health.
The Wishing Well raises funds to enable children and young people to access developmentally-appropriate and trauma-informed treatments shown to be highly effective in dealing with severe trauma and neglect. These therapies respond to the unique needs of each child and young person.
The Wishing Well is a not-for-profit incorporated charity organisation, established and managed by people seeking to improve outcomes for children and young people in out-of-home care and their families. The Wishing Well recognises the importance of the act of giving. We recognise the significance of the participation of community members and all donations are most appreciated.
The Wishing Well operates ethically, effectively and empathically with a view to achieving quality outcomes and a satisfying working environment.
Support the Wishing Well
The Wishing Well uses its funds to help children in need access all manners of developmentally-appropriate and trauma-informed treatments. The Wishing Well takes referrals for any child/young person in out-of-home care in NSW. Applications are assessed by qualified personnel and on a case-by-case basis. The decision to fund an application is affected by the following:
- Funding availability
- The support the child/young person has to access the proposed therapies
- The capacity and willingness of the Carer Household to support the child/young person
- Assessment, which recommends and supports the proposed therapy as relevant to meeting the particular needs of the child/young person
The Wishing Well gratefully receives donations, funding and resources through bequests, corporate partnerships, fundraising events, grants, online donations and other fund raising activities. Money donated to The Wishing Well enables traumatised children access to healing therapies. Please see our website for more information:
Building strong family relationship; tips and tricks
Strong families breed strong communities and strong family relationships help children within them feel loved and secure. This also helps all family members feel connected to one another and improves the interactions and communication you will have with each other. You can easily build strong family relationships within your family by identifying strengths, focusing on them and appreciating them. A few other tips and tricks to build up family relationships are;
- Spending time with each other. Prioritise each family member’s well-being and make time for each other, showing care and warmth, and celebrating the little things. Ensure that work life stays separate to home life.
- Actively listen. Often, during conversations with each other, we listen purely to respond, rather than concentrating and understanding what is actually being said. Active listening involves listening with all the senses and listening to what others have to say with interest and enthusiasm.
- Acknowledging feelings. At times, we may not agree with how someone is feeling about a situation – we may think they are over reacting or being too sensitive. Though by acknowledging each others’ feelings, you can show that you care and accept their feelings even if you may not agree with them.
Phoenix Rising for Children
Phoenix Rising For Children (PRFC) are accredited by The Office of The Children’s Guardian, peak government body in NSW for child protection. PRFC was established in 2001 and are experienced in provision of specialist services to children and their families for Family & Community Services, Non Government Agencies, Family Law Court Matters and Private Family Agreements. PRFC operates ethically, effectively and empathically with a view to achieving quality outcomes and a satisfying working environment, and as such we support organisations that encompass similar ideals.
PRFC’s focus is the wellbeing and safety of children while providing parents with opportunities to care for and engage with their children. These visits allow parents to demonstrate relationship and parenting skills.
PRFC’s qualified staff closely monitor contact visits in a supportive and positive way. We understand each family has a unique story and we seek to bring clarity and resolution whilst facilitating a service that is both safe and enjoyable for children and parents.
Phoenix Rising For Children have experience and expertise working with children and families affected by difficult and stressful circumstances.
We provide:
- In excess of 17 years experience providing supervised
- contact services
- Immediate availability to accept family referrals
- Qualified, experienced professional family supervisors
- High level of confidentiality
- 24 hour/ 365 days per year support to clients and personnel
- Detailed, well written reports appropriate for court matters
The services we provide include; supervised family contact, supervised transportation, supervised handover, mentoring and youth work support. We also provide interim supervised contact, pre-requested contact visit meetings between children and supervisors, and detailed contact visit reports.
We are contactable in the following ways:
T: 02 9873 3992,
Write to us at PO Box 71, Oatlands 2117 or
Email: scheduler@phoenixrising.org.au
Learn more about our services at www.phoenixrising.org.au
Promoting positive behaviour through praise and reward – some strategies for building skills and strengthening positive behaviours
Praise and reward are two of the most encouraging and positive ways to promote positive behaviour in children. As children learn to manage their feelings, help around the house, complete their homework, you can use these opportunities to notice and praise these behaviours, and in this way you will gradually develop and guide them to behave positively in future. As an example, you can say specifically what it is you appreciate that they have done; “Thank you for being thoughtful and putting your plate away without needing a reminder.” “Good work on completing your homework so early, you’ve done very well.”
Along with praise, rewards can work well in helping guide positive behaviour in children learning new routines or given new responsibilities. You should only give a reward after a certain behaviour has been displayed and be clear on the particular behaviour you are rewarding. Be sure that you don’t reward any unwanted behaviour – for example, if children are nagging or whining for a reward, if you give one at that point, they will learn that that behaviour pays off. Rewards don’t have to be extravagant, either. Some rewards you can give include; praise, hugs, stickers, stars on a star chart, a chance to play with a special toy or a fun activity.
The Wishing Well foundation
The Wishing Well was established in 2010 to offer children in out-of-home care, such as foster care and residential care, a range of healing and treatment options usually not accessible as a free therapy in mainstream health.
The Wishing Well raises funds to enable children and young people to access developmentally-appropriate and trauma-informed treatments shown to be highly effective in dealing with severe trauma and neglect. These therapies respond to the unique needs of each child and young person.
The Wishing Well is a not-for-profit incorporated charity organisation, established and managed by people seeking to improve outcomes for children and young people in out-of-home care and their families. The Wishing Well recognises the importance of the act of giving. We recognise the significance of the participation of community members and all donations are most appreciated.
The Wishing Well operates ethically, effectively and empathically with a view to achieving quality outcomes and a satisfying working environment.
Support the Wishing Well
The Wishing Well uses its funds to help children in need access all manners of developmentally-appropriate and trauma-informed treatments. The Wishing Well takes referrals for any child/young person in out-of-home care in NSW. Applications are assessed by qualified personnel and on a case-by-case basis. The decision to fund an application is affected by the following:
- Funding availability
- The support the child/young person has to access the proposed therapies
- The capacity and willingness of the Carer Household to support the child/young person
- Assessment, which recommends and supports the proposed therapy as relevant to meeting the particular needs of the child/young person
The Wishing Well gratefully receives donations, funding and resources through bequests, corporate partnerships, fundraising events, grants, online donations and other fund raising activities. Money donated to The Wishing Well enables traumatised children access to healing therapies. Please see our website for more information:
wishingwellorg.wordpress.com 